Sunday, September 7, 2008

Junice in Kulmhof by Jiayin S

The breeze was haunting as Junice bent down to observe the markings left by the river. She thought about the history of this place where so many souls had been lost to the victory of violence and hatred. In a way, it reminded her of home, where gangs ruled the streets and innocent lives were forever changed, simply because of racism and years of grudges being held. In Kulmhof, like the streets of home, it was survival of the fittest; she’d learned that from her mother. Sometimes, Junice just wished the world wasn’t so cruel to those who couldn’t help but be weak. It wasn’t their fault that fate had it in for them. She looked up as she heard footsteps, people approaching. A fair, red headed young woman, a German woman, and an older man walked by.

“People don’t like to talk about what happened here,” the man said.
“Why not,” the red-head said, “It is harsh, but it is their history.”

Junice heard the German woman translate the red-head’s words. As they came nearer, the red-head glanced at the river and saw Junice, knelt down beside the water. She gave a timid wave, but when she saw Junice’s concentrated expression, she turned away. Junice sat there, still lost in her trance of thoughts about her life, her mother, her history. But she decided to get up and walk with them, as her legs had fallen asleep, to maybe learn more about the horrific place called Kulmhof.

“Hey there,” she said, catching up to the red-head. “I’m Junice.” Looking back, the red-head stopped and reached out her hand.
“I’m Rebecca. What brings you here?”
“I was gunna ask you the same thing,” Junice replied. “I’m here on a school trip… but my class is off in some other part of the city.”
“Oh, I see, so you’re in college?” Rebecca asked.
“No, I’m still in high school. I’ll be lucky if I can graduate.”
“I see… I’m here on a search for the past of my grandmother; it’s kind of a long story. You’re from America too? I just realized you speak English.”
“Yeah, I’m from Harlem.”

Rebecca stopped walking for a moment. She looked around and said to herself, “This place is so depressing… but it’d beautiful in its own way. It makes you realize how the world really is; what we’ve become and what we once were.” Rebecca nodded. After a moment, she decided to invite Junice to lunch.

“Would you like to have lunch with us? I think my translator is going to show us a nice café around here, maybe a couple towns over, when we’re done.” Junice considered the offer and then accepted. I’ll catch up with the class later, she thought.

Rebecca and Junice walked further through the ghost town of Kulmhof. The overcast sky was ominous, threatening to open up and let buckets of rain fall to the earth. The two were quiet, as Rebecca’s translator and the old man had walked the other way towards the café, but Rebecca had wanted to walk a little further, so Junice accompanied her.

“My grandmother was from this place,” Rebecca said, mostly to herself. Junice glanced over. Rebecca continued.

“It was right before the actually war, with the Nazi’s and all, but she won’t tell us anything about her life, her past, her husband, the father of my mother, her country, nothing. So I came to find out on my own.” Junice thought for a moment, still caught up in thoughts about her own life, but interested in Rebecca’s as well.

“I wish I had some mystery to figure out for myself… the only story I have is my own; and my mother’s. Should we be walking towards the café?”

“Are you hungry?” Rebecca asked. Junice nodded, so they turned around and walked the other way along the river.

“What’s your story?” Rebecca asked, “Or, rather, your mom’s, if you don’t mind me asking.” Junice was silent, a solemn look on her face, for a moment and then she spoke, quietly, to tell the story.

“I grew up in the hood, never with enough money, always fending for myself and my little sister. A few months ago my mother got busted for selling drugs… she had no other way to get pay. We couldn’t bail her out, we could only watch her suffer there for a crime she felt she had to other way to get past. A few months ago, I fell in love with a boy named Damian. And when my mother heard of this from my grandmother, my mother was disgusted, she felt like I’d abandoned her. But what could I do for her? I brought her what she needed, but other than that I had nothing to give. It’s kind of nice to be here, even if it’s with my school, just to get away, see something new for a change.”

By then, they’d reached the café, and Rebecca was full of sympathy for Junice.

“I can’t say that I can relate, but I can say that I’m so sorry, Junice,” she said. Junice was speechless as well; she’d never been that open about her life, her issues, her personal thoughts, and certainly not with a stranger; not with anyone really. There was something about Rebecca that made her calm and helped her get through what she was feeling. Somehow, talking about life was easier than living it. Junice smiled at Rebecca, grateful for her kindness.

“Thank you, it’s not like anyone can do much,” Junice said.
“Well, if there ever is anything I can do, let me know,” Rebecca replied. She gave her number to Junice, “Or, if you ever want to just talk.”
“Sure thing, if I can get near a payphone.”

“Junice!” Junice looked back and saw her teacher, and all of her classmates, standing by the café exit.

“Oh,” Junice said, “I guess I have to go. Thank you Rebecca, maybe I’ll be in touch.”

“Oh, alright,” Rebecca said, “Good luck.”

2 comments:

chelsea said...

I felt sorry for Junice and her family because they had gone through so much. I felt like there is too much of this in the world and that people should not have to resort to selling drugs to make a living. The images i see are a high school girl crouched near a river of a horrible town and a spunky red-headed girl trying to learn about her grandmothers past. I see them meet and become friends over a single story and exchange thoughts. The story made me think about all of the kids and teens that live in the hood and i feel bad for them.
The conversation between the two charachters does seem very authentic and strange even in a good way that this reader enjoys. The details that made her charachters seem real were that Junice lives in the hood and her mother is in jail from selling drugs. So now she had to raise her little sister by herself.
My favorite part of the story is when Junice tells her story to Rebecca. “I grew up in the hood, never with enough money, always fending for myself and my little sister. A few months ago my mother got busted for selling drugs… she had no other way to get pay. We couldn’t bail her out, we could only watch her suffer there for a crime she felt she had to other way to get past. A few months ago, I fell in love with a boy named Damian. And when my mother heard of this from my grandmother, my mother was disgusted, she felt like I’d abandoned her. But what could I do for her? I brought her what she needed, but other than that I had nothing to give. It’s kind of nice to be here, even if it’s with my school, just to get away, see something new for a change.”
I think that somehow Junice and Rebecca shared a special bond over this story and i think it was truely amazing with them coming from two diffrent backrounds and all.
I think the only distracting thing was that it was a very jumpy story i think she could've taken a little more time with each thing instead of making it short.
Next time try to spend more time on each thing and be a little more descriptive. Also you could've had them talk a little more before Rebecca invited Junice to lunch and given me more detail of each person. Other than that really great essay Jiayin!!

Unknown said...

Wow Jiayin! This was an awesome essay! =D It was really descriptive and the whole dialog between Junice and Rebecca was very memorable! I could tell what these girls were both going through, and I didn’t read Briar Rose or Street Love for summer reading books! Junice I thought was particularly described well, and with the thoughts going on in her head, you could tell she was troubled and came from a bad neighborhood, and didn’t have the best family life, right off the bat!

The dialog, I thought, was very thorough. I believed both of the characters and I think that both the girls told good stories about their home life. I also like how it looked like you made bot of them connect, even though they had just met each other. You did a good job of telling a little bit about the characters personality and their life through the conversation and I thought that was very good, because dialog sometime’s isn’t that descriptive! :)

The first line of the story was my absolute favorite! I remembered it through the whole story, and it was so descriptive and nice and smooth! It was awesome! :)
“The breeze was haunting as Junice bent down to observe the markings left by the river. She thought about the history of this place where so many souls had been lost to the victory of violence and hatred. In a way, it reminded her of home, where gangs ruled the streets and innocent lives were forever changed, simply because of racism and years of grudges being held.”
I though you did a very good job by starting the essay off right! :)

I think that, unfortunately, there were some things in the story that could have been better. I didn’t really understand the setting fully. I knew Junice was on a class trip, but I don’t really know where the were. I imagined a park, but then I would wonder why Rebecca needed a translator to go through a park! (Lol) Oh, and about the man and the other woman-I think that if you gave the older man and the German woman a little more dialog, you would understand their importance a little bit more in the essay (and it could help with the dialog!) :)! But other than that I think this was an amazing story, ver descriptive in the dialog, and I think it’s A material! (Lol)

Good Job Jiayin!!!! =D